Our panelists tell us three stories of life before the Internet, only one of which is true.

Our panelists answer questions about the week's news: Don't Text and Maul.

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PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now panel, how will Ozzie Guillen upset Miamians next time? Alonzo Bodden?

ALONZO BODDEN: Ozzie's going to lose his accent and when they can understand what he's saying, there's really going to be trouble.

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SAGAL: Jessi Klein?

JESSI KLEIN: He will be caught on tape saying he loves everything about Florida except the old people.

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SAGAL: And Mo Rocca?

All the news we couldn't fit anywhere else.

Carl reads three news-related limericks: A Bus For When You Feel Like You've Been Hit By a Bus, Slider Sommelier and an Adorable Expiration Date.

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LINDA WERTHEIMER, HOST:

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LINDA WERTHEIMER, HOST:

Now, a piece of fiction inspired by the Titanic's fateful voyage. In the weeks leading up to the anniversary of the famous shipwreck, a cluster of books have been released looking back on the voyage. But the book that caught the eye of NPR's Lynn Neary is invented. It's the story of a fictional shipwreck that occurred two years after the Titanic. It's called "Lifeboat." Here's her report.

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LINDA WERTHEIMER, HOST:

This is WEEKEND EDITION from NPR News. Scott Simon is away. I'm Linda Wertheimer. After a long, turbulent primary season, Mitt Romney is now fully in general election mode. With Rick Santorum out of the race, Romney is trying to clarify the differences between himself and President Obama. He's also trying to nail down his support from the Republican base. NPR's Ari Shapiro reports from St. Louis on Romney's speech yesterday, to the annual convention of the National Rifle Association.

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LINDA WERTHEIMER, HOST:

Time now for sports.

(SOUNDBITE OF SPORTS THEME MUSIC)

WERTHEIMER: Its spring and its playoffs, the march to the Stanley Cup is under way in hockey. NBA teams are still jostling for spots in their post-season.

Joining us to sort it all out is NPR sports correspondent Tom Goldman.

Hey, Tom.

TOM GOLDMAN, BYLINE: Hello.

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LINDA WERTHEIMER, HOST: